Rants, Siblings, and Life

Ugh.  Today is definately not going how I'd like it to.


I'm stuck here with my younger brother.. We've never gotten along, and he's always known just exactly how to stab me at my most vital organs.. I mean, of course, that he wounds me with his words, finds things that can tick me off, or, more often, things that cause me the most pain.


As you may or may not know, I was born legally blind, in my left eye.  However, I can see shapes, shadows, color.. It's just I can't depict detail, can't read with it, or identify much of anything.  Basically, I can see someone or something is there, I just don't know what the heck it is.


Today, he's been really picking at that.


It's always been a sensitive subject.. I've been teased and taunted about it my whole life.  I've always felt out of place. 


It just really hurts, the things he's saying, the things he's said, and the thing is, it always happens.  When I'm around him, I always feel terrible.  I try to be on good terms with him, try my best to be friends, but it seems that whatever I do always backfires.  Like no matter how hard I try, it will never improve.


I've had surgery, to correct the alignment so that anyone just passing me won't be able to tell.. It's really helped my self-confidence. =) I guess one thing I've learned from all this is how to be sympathetic, to try and put myself in someone else's shoes.


You know, I may not have the best sight in the world, but I'm still really lucky to have any, so for that, I'm grateful.


And, not all of this has been bad.. I mean, sure, I've had tough times growing up, but doesn't everyone?  The important thing is, I'm proud of who I am.  Although having sight would be nice.. really nice.. I've learned so much by having a lack of it that I don't think I would change it.  My hearing is much better than a normal person's, which helps me with my music, because I have to rely on it sometimes.. It's vital in my life that my other senses are heightened..  I always have the risk of losing my sight completely, if I have something hit my right eye.


But, I'll still keep my ground on this.. I'm lucky to have faults so that I may learn from them.


Half of this probably doesn't make any sense, because I'm simply typing as the words come to me.  Thanks for listening/reading, though.  It's helped quite a bit.